Tuesday, 29 April 2014

1 month until the big day!

D-day is fast approaching! Today is officially 1 month until he is due to arrive and to be honest, I'm terrified.
I'm terrified of the pain, I'm terrified of not being able to cope and I'm terrified that I'm not going to be a good mum. 

I have had a lot of practice over the last 4 years, helping JS to raise Rdogg and all the challenges that comes with raising a child with "extra needs." However, I've never had to do this from the very beginning. I'm worried about how this is going to affect my relationship, I'm worried about becoming post-natal as depression is something that I've dealt with throughout my adult life and overall I'm feeling incredibly guilty for how this could affect Rdogg. He finds it increasingly difficult to cope with even the smallest changes to his routine and even tho we have a lot of strategies in place to help him, I worry about how well he will deal with not being the centre of our little world any more. 

As the day gets closer and closer, my worries are increasing as rapidly as my bump and that makes me feel even more guilty as I know that stressing isn't very good for the baby. Team that with the physical pains of sciatica, pelvic girdle (imagine having an iron rod metaphorically pushed through your hips) lace of sleep and braxton hicks contractions I'm surprised I'm not in tears 24/7. I know I should be floating around in a haze of pregnancy glow and don't get me wrong, I am incredibly excited and I can't wait to have that first cuddle with my little boy, but with every day that passes, I feel less and less prepared for the challenges I'm about to face.

That being said, I have been using my time off whilst on maternity leave to do as much research as possible, to do as much decorating as possible and to get on top of all the housework.I think if I sit and give myself time to actually think about everything, I may have a meltdown :)

Now onto today's outfit:

maxi dress - H&M
I love this dress so much, with the birth of the little man coming closer, I have to be aware of things that I buy to make sure they will be suitable for when my bump has gone. This dress is perfect as it is fitted on my top with more of an empire waistline. I love the side slits and the semi-sheer skirt.What was even better was that I got this for half price as there was a rip in one of the side slits which I have managed to sew up easily!
I also keep joking that JS needs to learn how to do my make up so that he can put my face on before any photos of me and baby are taken. Nice challenge for him there.

Peace and Love